Why don’t men date anymore?
This post is a response to a great blog written by a friend of mine, and I couldn’t help but respond to some of her questions from a man’s perspective. It is important you read her blog to see how she felt (You should follow her too. She’s pretty cool, takes awesome photos, and has a YouTube channel on natural hair care…and it’s pretty intense, so check it out!).
So 'The Kris Bliss' asked some really pertinent questions about men and dating in this technologically advanced, fast-paced era. Before I even put a word down, lemme just say I am in this generation, but I’m on the older end of the spectrum, so my outlook is definitely coming from the old school, so keep that in mind as you read my responses.
1. Why don’t men want to date anymore?
I still believe in dating, and good conversation and true compatibility through non-sexual communication. I think it’s essential to find that connection, because it is what will keep that relationship afloat when good looks and bedroom antics get old. I do think more mature men care about finding the right match. It is sadly true that us men do mature a bit slower than women do mentally, so good luck finding that maturity in a man under 25-27 years of age, but it exists. Men Still Want to Date.
2. Does traditional dating exist in our generation?
I think traditional dating has gone to the dogs. Many of these young men don’t even know that they should hold a door for a woman, let her enter a room first, walk on the outside of the sidewalk to protect her from the dangers of the street, have her sit in the comfy booth while they take the hard chair, allow her to order first, stand to greet any woman that shakes their hand. I could go on and on, and these are not secrets. These are the gems that were handed down to me. Granted this could all be fluff as well, so it needs to come from a genuine place number one, and as for traditions, rolling in the sack on a 1st date probably shouldn’t happen if this is a ‘real’ relationship that is being developed. Traditional dating exists a lot less than it used to…Sad.
3. But what about the guys that take you out on a date that seem to be decent men? Are they going a long with this “dating process” and being a “gentleman” in hopes to eventually get in your pants? Is that always the ultimate goal?
There are ‘decent men’ and there aren’t. Some will fool you and others won’t. The End. You will have to become a true judge of character and sniff out the ones trying to get into your bedroom after date 1. Listen carefully to all he says and what he talks about a lot. This here is your job. There really are a few good men out there…still. Sex is NOT ALWAYS the ultimate goal.
4. Does location affect one’s mindset when meeting someone they find attractive? Is there an unspoken barrier of respect that men will have for you that isn’t there at a club or bar type environment?
I’ll be honest, I don’t pick up women in clubs. Even though I think I’m a good person, and I’m shaking it in the club too, for some reason it’s not where I think my dream wifey is hanging out. But if i’m good, then some good girls must be in da club too, right? The other reasons are I hate not being heard and repeating myself, aka shouting pick up lines over loud music is an EPIC FAIL, and jumping on her from the back without her knowing when dancehall starts to play may be a little animalistic in approach (I’m Jamaican though, so you might allow me to get away with this one). I do have a location mind block with picking up women, but it’s more mind over matter. Good girls are in the club, but it’s just easier meeting them elsewhere in my opinion.
5. So where am I supposed to meet this gentleman who can speak eloquently (preferably 6’3,” abs of steel, corporate, but creative), respectful, kind, funny, a family man? Do I have high standards?
Well i’m 5’ 9.5” without the six pack, but the rest I can pull…call me ; ) Ok i’m being silly, and I know you are pulling our legs too, because you described your perfect man. Your Clark Kent with all these perfect features is either narcissistic and shallow, already married, self-absorbed or gay, so I think you should go for the short chubby guy instead, and he probably won’t cheat on you. Again I am joking…these stereotypes are lies! (well some of ‘em). Be patient, keep dating. He exists (minus a a few of these traits), and when you find him you will know. All hope is not lost for the women of this era.
The Kris Bliss ends her blog by saying:
"I know I can’t label all men as such, I’m really more focusing on guys in my generation, but I know not all guys in my generation are like the guy I’m describing…"
And that last statement is TRUE. Good luck dating :)