M.E. Exposed

There is one absolute in life that most of us naturally fear, and that is death.  We know it has to happen, but we never want it to.  Never should it be painful.  Never should it be early.  It would be great if it never happened. 

Yesterday I got news that a friend of mine from college died in a car accident on Friday.  As I type tears fill my eyes.  She was only 24.  She was beautiful, talented, fun and filled with promise.  The 5 missed calls from one of my best friends after midnight was the signal that something bad had happened.  I think I fear signs of impending doom more than the doom itself sometimes, because in that short moment I have to filter through the 50 million possibilities of why you called 5 times in such quick succession…and usually someone dying is high up in that list.

Initial state: Blank.  Today I’m sad and still in disbelief.  Reflective.  Curious as to why life works this way, and what we are supposed to gain from it.  A little defenseless as we have no control over so many of the things we think we do.  Fragile.  Life is fragile, like a box of China or electronics.  One moment it works or it is pristine and in the next moment it can be broken.

In all the sadness, I truly am a believer that your soul  lives on somewhere else, and that the essence of life is how you lived it and how you are remembered.  So to Sarah Beatty, my beautiful, talented friend who I shared many college moments with, I miss your smile.  I miss your crazy laugh.  I miss your amazing voice.  I miss your love of Britney Spears.  I miss your amazing legs.  I miss how we all danced many a night away in Boston.  I missed your ability to be quiet, neutral and non-confrontational.  I miss your North Carolina accent.  I miss that you were a lady, who carried herself with poise and always had a good manner.

One of my most fond memories was an early party for Matt at Cynthia’s, where we were tipsy way before it’s socially allowed to be, and what started out as a normal night, ended up in us becoming Ninja Turtles.  I also remember trying to take care of a drunk vomiting person in the bathroom of your apartment.  I talk to you as though you are hearing and reading from your Macbook in heaven.  Just know we miss you here on the land of the mortals, and that your memory will live on in the minds of those you were able to touch.  Thank you for touching my mind.

In life I believe in paying respect to love, life and to death.  To all the people who just read this without knowing Sarah, the message really is to cherish those around you as if each moment with them was your last.  So I will put down my iPhone when I’m speaking to you, because I don’t know when I may ever see you again.  To all my friends, fans and family.  I love you all, and I appreciate all you do and have done for me.  Life has a way of reminding you that you have to handle it with soft hands instead of boxing gloves.  In my short life I have seen many pass, and as I get older I know I will see many more.  There is a lesson in every life, and we must be open to experiencing it.  Again Sarah and everyone else I have ever lost.  Thank you for sharing even a little piece of yourself with M.E.

RIP Sarah Beatty…In the world of the angels you will now exist and continue to share your joy.

Love,

M.E.