Some days you wake up and feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, but the reality is you can only do as much as you can in this present moment. Check out my latest blog post rambling on #MEExposed, http://ItsMEExposed.com —-> http://itsmeexposed.com/post/96328515436/meexposed-the-reality-of-it-all #Blog #Post #TheRealityOfItAll #Life #Blogger #Jamaican Photo by @wayne_greezy
#MEExposed: I Can Never Change You
I remember once my brother spoke to me about a problem he was having, and like a high-horse little brother, which I can sometimes be, I launched into the whats and whys and various ways I thought it should have been dealt with. He firmly stopped me and calmly said…”Sometimes I just need you to listen.” Not for one second did I realize that my opinion was neither asked for or warranted. My role as a friend in this particular instance was to listen, and to only listen.
It has since been once of my greatest life lessons. It is the one thing I go back to whenever anyone is venting to me. I try to listen before I offer an opinion, unless I’m explicitly asked. The real beauty of the lesson is appreciating that your silence is more powerful in that moment. The body and the mind sometimes needs a period to vent, and simply grieve without solution. In essence, can I just sulk and enjoy my bad mood, or my bad day without someone trying to fix it.
The next lesson I would learn from this is that no matter how you perceive a person or a situation, you will never be able to fix them. You will never be able to make them do something the way that you do. You will never be able to tell them to “Just be happy about life.” and expect that they will suddenly become chipper. People feel the way about things because they just do. Their past combined with current experiences, society, religion, amongst so many other things colour the way they feel, and you can’t change it.
So today all I wish to do is to encourage you to be patient with those around you, that you love and care about. They are on a personal journey which you cannot accelerate or slow down. Some people are fast drivers, others are slow, and some don’t drive at all. At the point where you can remove yourself from the navigators seat and just be a backseat passenger, you may learn more about your friend, and actually be of greater value to their and your growth.
#MEExposed: Ain’t Nothing to Complain About #MEOnLife
I recently posted this to my social media, and it really was influenced by a bunch of emotions flowing through me, followed by one very special experience.
Most of you may know I work part-time as a medical doctor, and the other part as a musician. I like my medical job, especially the kids I get to see and treat when I’m there. I love my music job. There is never an unhappy moment when I’m on a stage, and a mic is in my hand. What this means is that some days I’m at the hospital and the other days I’m not.
Last week for the 1st in a long time I worked Monday through Friday, and it reminded me of when I worked as a full-time doctor. By around Wednesday my facial expression became flatter, and my general bubbly energy started to simmer. My life energy felt like it was being sucked out of me. The really sad part is that I realized that my work conditions were more undesirable than the actual work itself, and that made the whole thing suck more. It meant that if things actually worked properly, then I’d probably not be so miserable at my medical job. That said the feeling of having to come home after and hustle to do all the music work, also after going to the gym, then falling asleep in front of the laptop, was rubbing me a bit. I felt like I needed more hours in the day, and that I wasn’t doing what I really felt like…And to imagine I have no wife and kids yet.
At this point some are saying, damn this boy is ungrateful. He has it all! He is a doctor and a musician. That’s so awesome! Why would he ever want to complain? Well the grass is always greener on the other side. I want to make it clear that I am eternally grateful for all I have, and I wouldn’t dare call this complaining. I appreciate that this can all be taken away from me in a swift lightening bolt moment. That still doesn’t change the fact that some days I feel like I need to devote my life to the music and entertainment industry. No matter how much I have, or what titles I attain, my passion is music, and my feeling remains unchanged about that.
All of this to say that I met a young boy around 7 years old with a condition called VACTERL Association. His timing in my hell week was impeccable, just as God always has it. The VACTERL association (also VATER syndrome) refers to the non-random co-occurrence of birth defects Vertebral anomalies, Anal atresia, Cardiac defects, Tracheoesophageal fistula and/or Esophageal atresia, Renal & Radial anomalies and Limb defects. The reason it is called an association, rather than a syndrome is that while the complications are not pathogenically related they tend to occur together more frequently than expected by chance. In general, the etiology of “associations” are not defined. In English, or patois if you may, yu spine can affect, yu anal muscles can be weak (aka fecal incontinence and diapers), yu can have hole inna yu heart, yu can have a hole between yu food passage an yu wind pipe, yu could not have a kidney and last but not least your hand could stop at your elbow cuz it just didn’t grow anymore.
My unnamed patient was carried into the room by his mother. At this point I hadn’t noticed he didn’t have a leg. I soon learned that he wears pampers daily, and has one kidney which is pretty much non-functional. This kid looked like any other kid on the outside, and fortunately your brain is not affected, so he spoke well and was quite intelligent and polite. Matter a fact he was most disappointed when I told him he may have to come back to visit us on a Saturday. That meant missing Saturday morning cartoons. He was by all means a normal 7 year old. When we were finished he hopped outside and grabbed his crutches and moved down the corridor faster than I could walk. He seem so unaffected. Granted he has known nothing else. He was born this way and has learned to live this way. He had no choice. Most of us would freak out if we didn’t have another leg. Maybe if he was in another country he would have had prostheses fitted by now.
The moral of the story is that these patients come to me for me to give them some information that will help or affect their lives, when instead their mere presence affects my life in such an intense way, I can’t even express it to them. I was rendered speechless about being stressed out by work when I realized all my limbs were present, I don’t use crutches, I have 2 kidneys and I can hold my stool up…And here I was being miserable.
My feelings about doing what you love and immersing yourself in it remain unchanged, but I know that after meeting that boy I had nothing to be miserable about or even consider complaining about. He is blessed to have what he has, and in that moment he had more than what I had…an unaffected, untainted spirit; a heart like a lion and the spirit of an angel. I pray that he will continue to grow and have a full life, and not become bitter about his condition, and most of all I thank him for coming through that door and reminding me never to ever consider complaining, when even the mere ability to breathe is precious. Thank you kind sir, and I hope you all remember to give thanks everything, no matter how bad it seems.
PS For more on VACTERL Association, click HERE.
I am MARIO EVON, Reggae-Soul Singer/Songwriter, Medical Doctor, Proud Jamaican; Lover of life, fitness, food, music and cool people. I like to blog, and I like to take pictures.
Weh yu jus seh? (What did you just say?)
It still amazes me how people somehow find it ok to use cultural words that they don’t understand fully, with no idea of their context or true meaning. I would happen to fall into one of the most targeted cultures…the Jamaican culture. Language/Dialect/Creole? PATOIS.
Since living in the USA, and also being a performer, I have had one too many times when my Jamaican introduction is greeted with choruses of mouth-made vocal gun shots (important I state they were mouth made). “Brap, Brap” (single shots), “Brapapapapapapap” (the ‘Rapid Fire’ Machine Gun), “Blow Blow” (That is the ‘Shot Gun’), “Pie Pie Pie” (this is the hand pistol); Whatever the weapon of choice, it intrigues me that this is one of the highlights of my culture to the non-native Jamaican.
You also can’t forget the use of the word, B0mboCl@@t, like it’s a party favour. Funny the persons doing this don’t see me cringe every time they attempt to pronounce it (incorrectly mind you), and not understand that the visions I associate with this word are a weave about to be pulled out, a man about to get stabbed, often times just anyone at the peak of their anger, and in all fairness to them, many times as a term of endearment or extreme excitement, for instance to forward a big chune (aka used at peak of excitement when hearing a good song. In this way it kinda functions like a testosterone-driven “Guuuuuuuuuuurrrl daz my sooooooooooong!”). It could also happen when you see a really hot car pass by…then you let out the super loooooong one.
Truthfully the biggest fear for me is that I will be at a formal event with said friend who doesn’t appreciate the context of my culture, and of course it will come up that I’m Jamaican, and my friend will pleasantly launch into a string of their favourite new Jamaican words, and I, well I will be a dark shade of purple and trying to find the nearest exit.
I’m just saying if you aren’t sure about what you are saying, then you probably shouldn’t be saying it. Daz all. And maybe the next time you want to wild out in public using my native dialect, then give me enough forewarning so I can play into it - You know, wear my reggae-coloured tam with the fake locks, my favourite Bob Marley t-shirt, and roll my super-sized blunt, which I shall place behind my ear. Don’t forget I will be saying “Mon” after any sentence, and possible “Irie”, and maybe using my own Jamaican curse words out of context. “Do you know where I could find the bl00dcl@@t pickles?…Irie”. “I was wondering why the r@@s you look so beautiful tonight?” (This one doesn’t count cause I have a few friends who would say this. Hey I probably have already too).
To all of this I say, “Weh yu jus seh?”. As Tessanne Chin said, “Your words are your weapons, so use them wisely”. So before you shoot “down your brothers with your lyrical bullets”, you can buy a patois book. Blessed love.
Cool Moment Flashback - I think this is my year of super cool things to happen. Crazy. Thx again Marsha, you are the dopest!!