#MEExposed: I Can Never Change You
I remember once my brother spoke to me about a problem he was having, and like a high-horse little brother, which I can sometimes be, I launched into the whats and whys and various ways I thought it should have been dealt with. He firmly stopped me and calmly said…”Sometimes I just need you to listen.” Not for one second did I realize that my opinion was neither asked for or warranted. My role as a friend in this particular instance was to listen, and to only listen.
It has since been once of my greatest life lessons. It is the one thing I go back to whenever anyone is venting to me. I try to listen before I offer an opinion, unless I’m explicitly asked. The real beauty of the lesson is appreciating that your silence is more powerful in that moment. The body and the mind sometimes needs a period to vent, and simply grieve without solution. In essence, can I just sulk and enjoy my bad mood, or my bad day without someone trying to fix it.
The next lesson I would learn from this is that no matter how you perceive a person or a situation, you will never be able to fix them. You will never be able to make them do something the way that you do. You will never be able to tell them to “Just be happy about life.” and expect that they will suddenly become chipper. People feel the way about things because they just do. Their past combined with current experiences, society, religion, amongst so many other things colour the way they feel, and you can’t change it.
So today all I wish to do is to encourage you to be patient with those around you, that you love and care about. They are on a personal journey which you cannot accelerate or slow down. Some people are fast drivers, others are slow, and some don’t drive at all. At the point where you can remove yourself from the navigators seat and just be a backseat passenger, you may learn more about your friend, and actually be of greater value to their and your growth.