M.E. Exposed

‘Foot inna mout’ is exactly as it says, when you put your foot in your mouth. Today we talk about weight loss.

You know how excited people can be about seeing someone slim down, especially if they were fat, chubby, chunky, plump, fluffy, or mampy-sized. You break into a big smile and say “Wow you’ve lost a lot of weight”, or as we Jamaicans would say, “What a way yu mawga down”. Keep in mind how I’ve qualified that this usually only happens when you weren’t skinny then lose weight, as Caribbean culture, like many African cultures, supports carrying a lil meat on da bones. Skinny people becoming skinnier?…Not tolerated so much.

So foot definitely go inna mout, when your more than over-exuberant outburst results in any of the following answers:

1. I have cancer

2. I lost a close family member recently

3. I’m not sure how I lost the weight but I don’t feel good about it

Immediate FLAT FACE (-______-), and not just any flat face, but that super long flat face, that takes more than 2 underscores to make. Ye, dat one.

Of course you could go on and on with reasons for being skinnier that didn’t involve P90X, Insanity or that crazy Zumba crap, and feel the air stop flowing to your lungs the more and more your foot blocks your throat off.

So before you run up to anyone and compliment them on their weight loss, maybe observe them a little first, or simply reconsider based on inadequate information. I mean you may see the extra definition in the arms, or some other signs of the gym, but otherwise you could be digging a deep hole. Fortunately this usually works out better for weight loss than weight gain, but the same rules apply. People gain weight for all sorts of reasons, so it’s not nice to assume that they have stocks and shares in McDonalds.

So think twice before yu put yu foot inna yu mout.

Lickle most mi almost crash di car when I heard the radio ad for Jamaican speed dating.  I guess it wasn’t the most shocking thing I had ever heard in my life, but for a country as small as Jamaica, speed dating in the corporate area sounds like a, well, ‘fun’ after work activity.  The cost?  A mere J$600 (~US$7) to possibly meet the woman of my dreams on a Friday night, and it started at 8 pm.  Many thoughts ran through my crazy little twisted mind, and I thought to myself that I had to blog about this.

First of all did I mention Jamaica has a population of ~2.8 million?  A fraction of which lives in Kingston, and a fraction of which frequents the venue of said speed dating.  Oh don’t forget only a fraction heard the commercial.  My point is this could go either 2 ways, 1. you meet some really off people, or 2. you basically play catch up with a bunch of people you already know.  Ok to be fair, 3. you possibly find the mate of your dreams.  Life is full off many possibilities and the odds may just be in your favour on this particular Friday night at 8pm.

Second there is minimal screening, which could be good or bad.  Only 1st names are used, but no further information is given out.  You get to essentially tick on a piece of paper who you would potentially want to see again.  If there are matches, the company will contact you in a day or so and let you know, then you probably exchange info at that point and make it happen…another date that is.  You also get to mingle in the breaks with everyone who is around, so you may actually score off the dating table than on it, if you know what I mean.

Me being the skeptic that I am, I doubt I would last too long.  Blind dates are absolute no nos, and speed dating could definitely be rough for me.  I can talk fast but 8 minutes isn’t enough for me to determine if you are a psycho stalker. That said I am usually good at making a quick judgment of character, and deciding if good convo will follow, which I guess is essentially the point.

Can you imagine a strict Rasta coming into a Jamaica speed date?  His first question would probably be, “So yes Empress, mi jus waan ask yu up front…Yu a pork eater?”.  That could be one of the 1 minute speed dates if you know what I mean.

As skeptical as I am, I think I would go to an event like this just to have a whale of a time and I’d probably be black-listed and banned from it forever, because no one would like me by the end of the night.

Truth be told, I may really have to go and find out for real how this thing really feels, so I can write a real experience blog about it, and if you are interested in trying it out, check out the 2 links below.  You never know, it may just be your lucky Friday night ;)

http://www.facebook.com/SpeedDatingJA

http://haystacksd.blogspot.com/

I’ve liked someone so much that they are all I could think about.

I’ve liked someone so much, and they didn’t like me back.

I’ve loved someone but never realized how much I did until it was too late.

I’ve been hurt so much by someone I loved that I had to let them go.

I’ve been liked by people I didn’t like.

I’ve been loved by people I only liked.

I’ve thought I was in love when it turned out to not be love at all.

I’ve feared love because of previous bad experiences with it.

I have been lonely because of love.

I have been happy in love.

I sometimes have not cared about love at all, but preferred to satisfy my selfish desires.

Many of us have experienced at least one of these…

And that is why love and like is a BEEYATCH!

#TheEnd

The experience I gained in Jamaican musical theatre brought me in contact with many artistic people, and this was where I was introduced to the term ENERGY.  This energy would be as it relates to the vibe or aura of another person.  I was a little resistant to believe it then, but now I am a true believer that every single person has an energy, some quite positive, and others?…Not so much.

Since then, the highly perceptive and observant Libra that I think myself to be, has never taken energies lightly.  I often only need a few minutes around an energy to decide whether I need it around me or not.  Essentially I am saying that we as humans know very early out what is good for us, but some of us choose to ignore that feeling.  I believe youth was designed to calibrate ones energy meter; You make a few or more mistakes with people, and hopefully learn from them, but as you get older I think your meter needs to be calibrated with very little margin of error.

Like the picture above, some people radiate bright lights of positivity, encouragement and optimism, while others radiate a dark light of pessimism, cynicism and negativity. I choose to surround myself with the former. 

In the performing arts, energy is one of the first things I am open to when meeting other artists.  I have felt competitive energy, diva energy, relaxed energy, supportive energy, I hope you really break a leg energy (which is just stank energy), and the list goes on.  In terms of forming a band or a creative team, this can be a deal-breaker for me, because if the energy (aka the chemistry) is not right, then usually moving forward can be awkward or detrimental.  The really sad part is that some people again resist this feeling and work in awkwardness until something really crappy happens.  I prefer to avoid this situation.  Work with people who are genuinely interested in you and what you do.  That’s usually a good start.

My advice to you is to trust your gut when you are around an energy that rubs you the wrong way.  This will apply to job interviews, friends, business interactions and even choosing a life partner.  People often share a lot of themselves with you on first meeting them, you just have to be open and observant enough to see it, so keep your eyes and ears open, and keep your energies positive.  We want our meters tipped all the way over to the plus (+) sign, cah a straight positive energy we a deal wid!