NO RANDOMIZED TRIALS HAVE BEEN DONE TO GATHER THE INFORMATION STATED BELOW, NOR WAS IT MEANT TO OFFEND CAT, DOG, OR CAT/DOG OWNERS. ALL OPINIONS BELOW ARE BASED ON THE EXPERIENCES OF M.E., BUT THERE ARE ALWAYS EXCEPTIONS TO EVERY EXPERIENCE :D
In my observation of all the people I have met on this planet to date, I have come to the conclusion that they can be categorized as either CAT, or DOG people. I think that knowing which one you are is key, and being able to identify what other people are may very well lead to world peace (ok that may be a little ambitious).
What kinda person am I?
So let’s first identify what makes you one or the other. The most obvious would be that:
You choose to own either cats or dogs as pets -This is way deeper than owning the pet. It actually really comes down to you adopting and embodying the personality traits (and yes I think animals have personalities) of your animal of choice. Apparently there are Cat-Dog owners, but they are special so I’ll deal with them in a bit.
CAT PEOPLE: Adore the independent feline that enjoys killing mice/rats, cuddles when hungry or simply when they feel like, and who thinks it’s God’s gift to the planet. They leave as they please and return when they are ready. I find most cats to be quite haughty little ones. They remind me of little girls cutting their eyes at each other when annoyed, and often make me feel they are saying, “Don’t YOU, wish you were me”. Likewise the human versions are quirky, perky and sometimes high strung individuals. Very independent, and confident about what they represent and need to do. Sometimes particular, persnickety and occasionally socially awkward. They are detailed-oriented, organized, but not fussy about cat hair strangely.
DOG PEOPLE: Adore the loyal, slobbery pet of widely varying sizes, that seems to always want affection, even when not hungry, always seem happy to see you, and sometimes also kills mice/rats (like mi dawg dem inna Jamaica. Dem nuh play). The human counterparts similarly are calm, loyal, easygoing types that go with the flow and try to take a hard life easy. They can relinquish independence but still maintain some dominance over their worlds, and they tend to be less socially awkward.
CAT-DOG PEOPLE??: With the theory of FLUIDITY around, it would seem that there are people who fall somewhere in the middle of this spectrum, aka the CAT-DOG PEOPLE. If they really do exist, they occur in the vast minority, and kinda like how some people feel about bisexuality, that’s kinda where cat-dog people fall. Some think you have to either be one or the other, but if you like both equally then I guess that just makes you…well, special. A cat-dog person would just be close to perfect, and that just doesn’t exist.
CONCLUSION: In my world cats play with cats, and dogs play with dogs, and once you figure out what you are, then just make life simple and find your specie. That way we will all get along the way we should. There isn’t any major problem with play between breeds, but between species is likely to be problematic, so find your inner animal, cat or dog, embrace it, and then go back out into the world with a fresh perspective who you play with.
Will that be all? Have you gotten all that you needed?
It’s interesting to me that some people only want you for one and only one purpose, and that purpose could be anything they truly desire, from sex to being your partner (temporarily or permanently) or to using you to get to someone else. Whatever it is, I’m always surprised at how relationships can begin and end in the blink of an eye. So in love in one moment, and then never speaking in the next.
I have a bit of a more enlightened approach to life, where I genuinely feel that people have more to offer than the fantasy relationship I have with them in my mind. I agree we can’t all be friends when it’s all said and done, whatever it was that took place, but I also feel like people can really be spoiled brats in relationships, especially when they don’t get what they want. To that I say, “Will that be all?”, because if you have gotten what you needed by all means keep it moving, but I somehow thought there was possibly more to this.
For instance you like someone, and you have been cautiously pursuing them for a while. In the long run it turns out they were never really interested in you intimately. For me, this doesn’t necessarily mean I will never talk to the person again, but for many it means that the person immediately becomes chopped liver, and almost loses their market value. A couple days ago this person was all you could think about. You saw Sunday breakfast in the house with the kids, or Sunday breakfast without the kids (whichever tickles you more), but now that the person JUST wants to be friends, you are ready to pack up and move to another country.
In conclusion I just want to say that people have a lot more to offer than what YOU want them to be in YOUR life, and it may take a while to be open to this, but human interaction is very key to this life, and each person will be your teacher. You could have just turned down a few classes at Harvard, because you were too busy caught up with the gift you didn’t get. Something to think about as you journey through life and the people you will encounter.
As a musician I’ve gathered that women have been sexually curious about me, and by sexually curious I really mean, curious about ‘what I’d be like in bed’. Myself guilty of this sexual curiosity while watching Beyonce (sorry Jigga) or Rihanna (Sorry again J - He tends to be protective of her too) on stage, I can totally relate to it. So today I decided to let out one of those musician secrets that will help you find some of the answers you are looking for.
As a performer I’ve had the pleasure of working with many talented musicians, and if you thought Trey Songz knew about “Making Love Faces”, then you really haven’t seen anything yet. Granted this post will be more helpful to the ladies since the music industry tends to be male-dominated, but this is definitely not in any way gender specific. I’ve seen the girls in Beyonce’s band make these faces too…The musician face. For bass players I usually call it ‘Bass Face’, and other musicians highly guilty include guitarists, drummers and keyboard players…basically anyone with a free mouth who plays anything percussive. This also includes singers (we do those polyrhythms too).
Just as unconscious as a ‘Love Face’, a musician face is definitely how you’ll know what your musician crush/potential playmate will look in their moment of climax. The best part is that you will get to see it over and over throughout the course of their musical ‘performance’. Enough time to really make a good and proper analysis, and essentially decide if making the next move is worth your while. I don’t even know why I’m sharing this because this information could win a Nobel Prize. I’m definitely onto something.
I can bet any money that a snap shot of your guitar crush in the peak of his/her solo will look very similar to that ‘other face’ that they make at the peak of happy time…just that no one usually has cameras out in that moment, well hmm actually, some people probably do.
This of course brings us to the question, 'Why should I even care about a musician 'love face'?'. Really good question. The most truthful answer is that a person’s soul and honest intentions lie in their eyes, and often in their facial expressions. This in turn can directly correlate to sexual performance. It’s kinda like the correlation between dancing ability and waistline action. A love face could tell you if someone is good or bad in bed. Here are some of the faces I’ve definitely seen on stage: 'The upturned lip face', ‘The Squinty Eye’, 'The OMG Open Mouth', which sometimes actually looks like they are about to vomit imho, 'The I'm Crying Really Badly', 'The clench my Teeth', ‘The Tongue’ (quite popular, kinda like Jamaicans dancing to dancehall - The tongue must come out especially in a sketel moment), and of course you can’t forget the 'I'm quivering my lip like Whitney Houston and look like I'm in an old Kung Fu movie'. This last face is quite a popular one too, as many musicians anticipate what they are going to play and literally make this movement with their mouths as they play it. Looks a bit like Mr. Ed to me, but could be a reflections of how they ‘Stay Ahead of the Game' (Read Part 1 and Part 2 when you have time). You can feel free to attach your own connotations to each of these expressions, but they each mean something very different, and there are different grades and intensities for each…Really too much to talk about in one post.
In summary I’m encouraging you all to be more observant when you are at that next concert because you may just get a little insight into a ‘Love Face’, that may give you a lot more insight into your musician crush. Musicians aside, ‘Love Faces’ happen all the time in life during many non-bedroom activities, so don’t miss your clue in, and if someone writes a research paper on this, lemme know, cuz I was the 1st to blog about it…Mi waan mi credit!!
by Carla Moore (Writer) and Mario Guthrie (Photographer)
xaymaca land of your naming we say Jamaica like you were never here Jamaica 50 what of xaymaca? in 50 years it was gone I know not how I got here indentured-servant-slave but for staying I apologise you were a story Taino a thing a black child learned Arawak a part of Jamaica’s history the part before the real part I apologise.
Another 62 words is headed your way tomorrow as we wind down edition 2: 62 words of Jamaica Writes. - JW
by Nyika Noelle Smythe (Writer) and Christopher Fuller (Photographer)
Between two sheets This bed the centre of our world We whisper stories to each other We tell lies we wish were truth Skin to skin, heart to heart We paint pictures of pretense Infidelity to our souls Today is our eternity Tonight is all we have And as the morning light cascades across our guilty faces We know it is goodbye.
We say goodbye until tomorrow when our 62 word edition continues. - JW
Growing up in Jamaica was always interesting, and becomes even more so when you live away from it for a while. This complex country, a blender of religion, sex, aggression, struggle and sheer joy, is exactly the reason why some things were always hard to do in Jamaica (NB I do appreciate these things are NOT all necessarily unique to Jamaica):
1. Buy Condoms - The sheer size of the country means that you probably will see your aunt or your neighbour in the check out line, while yu requesting yu ‘2 pack a Magnum’. The condoms are stored behind the cashier or pharmacy counter like the vault in the bank. I know they are small, very essential, hence very steal-able, but we don’t need the national guard to protect them. I mean daaaamn son, why does the cashier have to know my brand of preference?
Since I’m a virgin (halo smile) I would know nothing about these things, so of course these next stories are offerings I have received vicariously through friends:
A. The cashier who after being asked for a pack of condoms says, "Oh so yu a go mash a ting tonight?" -__- Really?? Did she just say that?? And yes, some Jamaicans have a hard time minding their own business (aka damn faaaas = inquisitive). Just sell the damn condoms and keep it moving.
B. The cashier who looks like your church sister. Older female with no jewelry and natural hair in a nice cane row pattern. I mean c’mon now, what do you expect one to do? I mean put the young cashier by the condom rack, not Sister Patrick (forgive me if you know one. It was the 1st random name that came to mind). I mean as she presses the buttons on the register, sheer hell fire jolts through your body with each beep of the button, and she still hasn’t said anything. Of course the ‘sex cadets’ out there are usually not phased by Sister Patrick, and just shamelessly ask for their condoms wid their fornicating bahinds.
2. Ask for Change - Every Jamaican knows that we might as well not have any currency under $1, because the concept of exact change is foreign, and you may even be made to feel bad for asking for it. The Jamaicans know the gas station has never given exact change, not to mention the average store. Your best chances of getting exact change are in a pharmacy or a supermarket, otherwise expect a round up in the favour of the store, or use a debit or credit card to avoid the thievery. I mean it adds up. For all the years I’ve been alive, I’m sure all the change I haven’t received could buy me something real nice.
3. Leave Church Early - You know those people who once church goes over 2 hours they be outta there. They couldn’t care less if the pastor was in a vibe. It’s time to get out. Call it disrespectful, but some people have really short attention spans, and once they have gotten enough of the word they just peace out. I guess I can’t be mad at them, cuz I really don’t know why they are leaving. It could be bad diarrhoea for all I know, so who am I to judge, but you all know you have given the side eye, or better yet you have received them piercing through your back as you run out. You do the light jog, with the triple step hop, just to make it look mad urgent. Perfect case in point the people who party after the New Years Eve Watchnight Service…You know yourselves. Why you in such a rush to leave church at 12:01am.
4. Use ‘Almost Curse Words’ - So an ‘Almost Curse Word’ is as the term implies, a word that could almost be a curse word, that maybe you could use in the USA casually, but not in a Caribbean household. My mom for example said that flatulence had to be referred to as ‘passing wind' back in her childhood. Dare you say a word like 'fart' or 'poop’, you would get a lashing. Other such words include crap, damn, bitch, and popular Jamaican almost curse words like rhaatid, and bombaat. My friend Kadija would say things like fiddle sticks instead of the F word, or sugarloaf instead of the 4 letter S word. Those things make a parent proud.
5. Try to watch porn on a Satellite Dish - So for the younguns out there, long before cable there existed this huge piece of metal called a satellite dish. Unlike now where you have one cable box, this thing had a receiver, a descrambler amongst other things to get it to work. There were sometimes codes to get into channels. It was really a work of art, but no one was complaining because this was the only way to watch anything outside of the 2 local stations (Back then JBC which became TVJ, and CVM). Any kid with a satellite dish tried to watch porn. It’s just one of those standard things that kids try to do (sorry parents if this is now a revelation). The most funny part was when the channel couldn’t descramble but you could still make out body parts, or if it would occasionally descramble, so that you would see little clips of clarity. The thought cracks me up, but boy have we come a long way. Now it’s just one click away on the internet (parents block the living room desktop).
Let M.E. know some of your horror stories about what was hard for you to do wherever you are from. I’m sure they will be equally interesting.
It’s 2011 now, and probably the only ones that have changed in Jamaica are 4. and 5., thanks to people being just a little more liberal, well some people, and of course thanks to cable and the internet.
In 2009 I came up with the idea of posting a YouTube video of a performance for the 12 days of Christmas. It was one of the hardest gifts I’ve ever created, but it was so worth it. Here is a throwback to the Mario Evon 12 Days of Christmas 2009. It was kind of a getting to know M.E. experiment. BTW this is a PLAYLIST, so the videos are already in sequential order and will play one after the other…TECHNOLOGY and YOUTUBE…Don’t ya love it! Enjoy.
Carla Moore (Writer) and Mario Guthrie (Photographer)
fire signs they burn hold hands amid flames watch their skin meld smile at being joined in all.ways she hates you which means loves retching up her feelings nothing comes out her feelings are your unborn child nurtured on her blood come rub her naked belly all.ways in even with closed door even when gone she hates you so much she smiles
Have you set goals for yourself? I just finished reading an article on 3 ways to overcome Career Anxiety by Daniel Gulati, and his 3rd way was to spend time defining your passions. Though this is a little different from setting goals, it definitely will lead to you setting goals to achieve these passions.
I assure you I’m awful at writing schedules, but strangely good at getting things done by any means necessary, even if it is down to the wire, and I still try my best to do it at a high standard. In my few years as a professional musician, all my achievements to date have been based on setting goals, no matter how fickle they seemed, or whether I kept them in my head or wrote them on a piece of paper. I held true to them, and kept them in my mind’s vision and somehow made them happen, so today I encourage you to set some goals for yourself. Stop feeling lost, and sit down quietly and dig deep for what you believe in, and what you are passionate about, and set some goals. Let me share with you some of the goals I’ve had, and their outcomes, and some of the goals I have:
1. Learning more about music - I applied to Berklee College of Music (Boston, MA), auditioned, got a scholarship, graduated and now I definitely know a lot more about music than I have ever known.
2. Perform at Jamaica Jazz & Blues Festival - I auditioned in Dec 2008 to perform on the small stage, after seeing an ad in the paper, and I was selected to perform in Jan 2009. I was then asked in late 2009 to open on the main stage in Jan of 2010. I watched many of these shows growing up and always dreamed of being on that stage. I made it happen.
3. I desired to move to NY and build a fan base there because of it’s proximity to Boston and the good public transport - I moved to NY, I auditioned for Showtime at the Apollo and made it to the final round; Auditioned for X Factor and Essence R&B star and made it to the final rounds of private auditions; I performed at Ashford & Simpson’s Sugar Bar and at the Grace Jamaican Jerk Festival. I networked actively, and significantly expanded my mailing list/fan base and a new group of wonderful friends.
4. I wanted to create an album - I used a free crowd funding platform to generate funds to do this, and the project was funded on December 1, 2011. I will make my debut album.
5. I am going to be an international recording artist, win at least one Grammy. I will volunteer my expertise in the arts as a stage coach to inner city Jamaican youth and write a book about my life and other things I am passionate about - This is happening now.
Continue to set goals for yourself, and never disbelieve. Embrace your fears as overcoming them will only help you to grow. One life to live. Live it without regret.
So ever since I had seen that Dance Central had a Dancehall routine with ‘King of the Dancehall’ by Beenie Man, I have been intrigued to play this dumb game, and actually kinda want an Xbox 360 with Kinect just for this reason. Don’t worry this is not a cry for an xmas gift, but this def looks like lots of fun, and watching people do this ish on YouTube is even more hilarious: