#MEExposed: We Ain't From the same place! #Assumptions
A victim of the societal assumption box, maybe because of my light-skinned complexion, curly hair, schools I attended, way I speak, jobs of my parents, country that I live in (I could go on and on)…I strangely seem to get into conversations with people who assume that we have the same upbringing and background.
Baffles me that someone can start a monologue (as all I have gotten to do is smile and nod in this ‘conversation’) and then easily include you into it. I know this is not exclusive to me, but I sure have experienced it a lot. I get the joy of being a rootsy Jamaican musician (aka 9 to 5s as a music teacher somewhere), an educated doctor, a hispanic (oh yes I’m Dominican), an African (I’m also Ethiopian, and if I went there without speaking they wouldn’t know…well so the Ethiopian taxi driver told me, and an Ethiopian 7/11 store clerk), a Black-American, a Trini (cuz clearly I don’t sound Jamaican enough sometimes *big side eye*), half white/Indian or Chinese (because of my “good hair”, cah mi muss mix wid supm), a Christian (because of my pleasant demeanor)…I did say I could go on and on right? But this has been MY life.
So back to the story. Recently an acquaintance started talking about how they enjoyed connecting to ‘the people’ of our country based on a few recent experiences they had. Experiences which in summary brought them in contact with ghetto people, which made them appreciate how happy our people still are in poverty, because they make ends meet by different means than the more well off - One pot, tenament yaad, buy lickle lickle, but still able to reeeeey when a time fi reeeey kinda tings. For them it seemed like such a far removed thing to be connected to one’s own culture, and apparently my gold-spoon appearing ass was riding in the same boat as them. They had lost touch, but I have never felt that way, but the graciousness my maturity has taught me, ensured I continued to smile and nod while my mind said otherwise.
For this blog post to have any real value to me, I refuse to justify the details of my life experiences as to why I didn’t feel the same way as this person. I refuse to prove what I have been through and who and what I’ve been exposed to; why I can identify as a true Jamaican, despite all the things that may make you think otherwise. The point is that I’m a Jamaican and it doesn’t matter, and you have no right to assume anything else about my Jamaicaness.
I have nothing to prove to anyone, and never should you feel you have to either, but never shall you assume that we live the same realities. Very few people do. There is always one or a few things that will make us very different. No common high school or social class can equalize us.
Many have lived hard lives which they have overcome, allowing them to appear better off. Others have lived quite privileged lives, and appear to be extremely humble, plus the many combinations and variations of these.
My grand point is that people will make YOU into what THEY WANT based on what THEY have been exposed to in their lives, as well as what you choose to share with them. This means you could be anything to anyone…So assume nothing about anyone. You have nothing to prove to anyone, but to just be yourself. Your actions, personality and reputation will speak for you.
Happy 52nd Independence Day Jamaica!! May you continue to shine as a nation, despite our challenges.
I had never thought anyone was a mold from some special cookie cutter of life, but many of us were conditioned to think that we would find this perfect person by x time, be married by x time, have kids by x time and the rest of x times would naturally follow.
Maturity and life experience has really been teaching me that everything we decide comes down to what we want, irrespective of the obstacles, but also not everything we want…we get. Some people know very early in life what they want and they go for it aggressively. Others of us figure it out later, or sadly never at all.
Today I propose to you a question - Do you know what you want from a relationship? Not just intimate ones, but friendships, acquaintances…Have you ever really stopped to assess whether they are healthy or even necessary relationships that nourish your soul, or function to empower your growth in any way.
Is your vision a big house with a picket fence and an army of kids running around its big lawn? Then why not have it? Persons like these tend to go for stable careers that can afford them such luxuries, as working in an environment that makes them unhappy is a sacrifice they are willing to make to have that soccer team of kids. Someone like myself on the other hand is still seeing Grammy awards, world tours and building fan base as a lucrative desire. I find it quite revealing because as much as I want the house with the picket fence, I don’t think I currently want it more than what I’m striving to achieve. Persons like myself choose passion over stability. Make less than we are worth now, hoping to make tonnes more for what we love later, and that passion becomes the driving force in nearly all the decisions that we make. None of this is to say that passion and stability can’t coexist, so that is also a viable option, but it has to be right.
Today all I’m asking you to do is to think about your successful and your failed relationships, and truly assess what you had wanted then, and what you really want now. It will help you on your path to rise from the ashes like the Phoenix and find exactly what you are looking for. Once you choose with your heart then the rest will follow accordingly.
I am still searching for what I want. I don’t think that search ever ends in this life, but so far I know:
From my friendships I want loyalty, honesty and trust.
From my acquaintances I want pleasant interactions and encouragement to enjoy life.
From my intimate relationships I want attraction, spiritual connection, love, loyalty, honesty, trust and true compatibility.
For my career I want focus, fearlessness, originality, an understanding of my audience and creative and financial success.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Mario Evon is a Medical Doctor and Reggae-Soul Singer/Songwriter with a passion for music, life, blogging, photography and working out. Follow his journey through his social media.